For years i have been comfortable with christ and G-D, yet always feel estranged to the holy spirit. I cannot tell if this perception is a lie or I have grieved him. Your thoughts on this would be helpful.
First, I would suggest that you go to “Studies” on our from the index page and then select ” Seat of the Spirit” from the studies page. Most people do not have an informed understanding of what G-d’s Spirit is, and mistake soulish behavior as spiritual behavior. I can’t be certain, but I suspect that is what you are doing and why you feel estranged.
You referenced that you may have grieved “him,” referring to the Holy Spirit. This presents an interesting example of misunderstanding G-d’s Spirit due to what ministers with no Jewish understanding of the Scriptures or understanding of Hebrew teach. In Hebrew, Elohim is identified as that aspect of G-d that is the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit). Unfortunately, for Christians who do not read Hebrew, the word Elohim is a feminine gender word. Therefore, G-d’s Spirit is identified in Hebrew as the Supernal feminine aspect of G-d’s unity. Not masculine! Referring to G-d’s Spirit as Him is then incorrect. The Tetagramaton.YHVH also contains both feminine and masculine gender syllables showing us the masculine/feminine aspect of G-d as found in His name. We were created in His image and each of us has both feminine and masculine characteristics. One will dominate. El Shaddai translated as G-d Almighty is derived from a root word meaning “breasted one.” If you noticed in Genesis there are two accounts of creating mankind. Initially, Adam was created with this dual gender and then Eve was removed from him and that is why the Torah teaches us we are to be Echad (united) male and female becoming one. Judaism teaches that no man or woman for that matter is complete without a mate. With so much misunderstanding out there, and so much being taught from the pulpits that is erroneous about the Holy Spirit many people feel as you do. Most of what is being taught as spiritual behavior is nothing more than soulish behavior, emotionalism, and of the flesh. Read the study, and you will see what I mean. Most of what you see passed off as spiritual behavior can also be seen at rock concerts or any other secular activity where G-d is the furthest thing from the participants’ minds. You’d have a hard time distinguishing the difference between these activities if not for the location.
Hope this helps and encourages you, You may be far more spiritual than you imagine. Write me back if you have other questions.